Thursday, August 21, 2014

The Plight of Perilously Puny Popovich Pissers

Technically, when you are conceived, you get half your genes from your mother and half your genes from your father. However, anyone who knows my family knows that I definitely favor the Popovich side, my mom's family.

Including the penchant for Popovich women to have teeny, tiny bladders. 

Add to this that I drink no less than three liters of water a day and carry a water bottle with me when I travel, and while I may not know where I actually am at points, I WILL be able to tell you where the restroom is and/or a suitable location for a makeshift potty-spot could be. I've peed in more public locations,with, or without an actual toilet, than you probably care to know. If we're being honest, I have to pee right now.

On Monday, I flew into the Chicago airport after that whirlwind trip to the South starting Saturday. Here are the actual texts I sent Eric:

Eric at 6:06pm: C10 has a Denver flight delayed leaving now at 8:15pm. You could see if you have a shot to get on it.

Me at 6:08pm: OK, but we're in the "penalty box" as the pilot called it. Plane still at our gate, so we're waiting... and I have to pee.

Eric at 6:09pm: Gotcha.

Me at 6:18pm: Gate check may cause me to wet my pants.Seriously. (Please note that this is a real threat.I have actually wet my pants in my adult life. Not often, but it's happened.)

Me at 6:19pm: Oh my goodness, where are the gate check bags? I have to GO

Eric at 6:20pm: Sorry. 

Me at 6:20pm: I wonder if I could borrow a fiaper from the woman with the baby across from me?

Me at 6:24pm: Bloody hell. Still waiting (at this point, I'm looking at the Jet Bridge, and wondering how obvious it would be if I squatted right there.)

Me at 6:26pm: I will pay someone to get my bag for me and deliver it to me in the women's room.

Me at 6:28pm: They left my bag in Charleston, didn't they? It's never coming.

Eric at 6:28pm: Hmm. (He knows better at this point that to do anything other than make noncommittal noise texts. I can feel my bladder starting to shred under the pressure.)

Me at 6:30pm: I've never been so happy to be in an ORD toilet in my life (this after nearly knocking over an old man going ever so slowly up the Jet Bridge. If I could have levitated at that point, I would have done so.)

Eric at 6:30pm: :) 

I wish I could tell you this was an unusual occurrence, but then I'd be lying. D@m# you, tiny bladder!  

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