Thursday, April 30, 2015

The Given-Up Homeowner

Truth: Every home I have purchased, at some point, I have cursed at the former homeowner.

Truth: I just became a former homeowner someone is now swearing at.

I am so not kidding you.

"Home-less" by Choice

We close on our house today.

Yesterday, as I was packing up for the day at work, I thought, "Maybe I should go by and walk through it one more time."

Then I thought, "Nah."

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

What the Crap Did We Sign Up For?

Last night I had a nightmare that the house we just moved into sold before we closed on the house we still currently own. I dreamed the owner of the home had somehow told us and I had to tell the caretaker organization, who didn't know. I told a person in the organization I had never met, and she was like, "ok, get out," and didn't have anywhere for us to go, and didn't care. She was just like "ok, get out," and I kept thinking "It's over before it ever even started and I don't even know you!"

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Poop, on Balance

Since the poop-post, we've gotten a number of questions about "why we would put up with that (septic backflow in the basement of a rental, rodent remnants in the closet, cleaning the dirt build-up from a home that sat empty for a year, etc.)?"

The simplest answer is this: You can put up with a lot when you are paying dirt cheap rent.


Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Poo Geysers, or "The Definitive Reason to Never Eat Snow of Any Kind"

We started sleeping at the new place Thursday evening. As I mentioned, we got a foot of snow between Thursday and Friday. Saturday morning,  I was up early, scrubbing the kitchen (because, ewww, bachelor man lived alone in this house for two years then moved out and the house sat empty for a year.) Shar'Niese got up, and we were chatting in the kitchen before Eric and I took her to the airport. At some point, we heard a weird noise. I went to explore, and looked down the stairs into the basement. I saw sunlight reflecting off the floor back at me.

Which is a problem because the basement is carpeted, except for a non-carpeted spot that highlights the nonworking, not-hooked-up toilet sitting in a 6x6 space in the middle of the floor.

Oh. crap.


Friday, April 17, 2015

Because We Can't Just Do ONE Thing...

Two Men and a Truck. Willing to move in slush.
We moved. Yesterday. Well, at least our furniture did. We moved some of our boxes and will move the rest on Sunday. Thank goodness for Two Men and a Truck. I would have been a very cranky, unhappy, and likely, in pain, camper without them. Plus I would have had to sell all our furniture because I can't pick most of it up, and I'm kind of done with the "killing our friends because we hauled a sideboard together" thing.

Last night, we got a foot of snow, and I discovered at 10:15pm that there is absolutely no water pressure in the bathroom shower (more on the house, the circumstances we find ourselves in, etc. in a later post). It would have been more effective to put my head in the sink.