Monday, July 22, 2019

D*#n You, Hanks

I’m not the most interesting man in the world, and I’m certainly not Walker, Texas Ranger, but I have a relative amount of toughness. I mean:
I’ve run Pikes Peak so many times I have Barr Trail memorized.
I once had to take cover from a gang shooting.
I’ve flown all the way around the world in a single trip. Twice.
I ran a 24 hour trail relay while experiencing listeria.
I’ve had a seven year old show me their tattoo.
I ate ox testicles. Once.
I finished a marathon with a broken femur, torn hamstring and several other injuries, then got on an overseas flight.
I’ve dealt with hundreds of cases of physical and sexual abuse.
I once sent an Emmy winning actress a video she requested that included extremely unflattering commentary about her (unknowingly), then did nothing when I found out about the additions.
I got into a public dispute with an elected official over Facebook and won.

But the new trailer for the Mr. Rogers movie?

Yea, I was a total mess watching that. The moment Daniel Tiger showed up, I was gone.

Damn you, Tom Hanks.

I bet Chuck Norris cried at that preview too.

Saturday, July 13, 2019

The Flat Earth

So, not too terribly long ago, the parking lot at my work was subject to one of what, in my opinion, may be one of the most interesting visits possible.

I mean, like unicorns, yetis or a selfless politician, I was pretty sure they didn't exit. 

And then, there on the ground in the parking lot, was proof they did.