Friday, May 30, 2014

No Soliciting

Six months ago, Eric decided that we needed a no soliciting sign. Since he works from home, he is the one that mostly has to answer the door when the encyclopedia salesman, window cleaners, Witnesses, Mormons, cables guys, and/or save the planet people knock on it. Plus, he doesn't like to say no, so if it happens to be the kid with the sad story about fundraising by selling newspaper subscriptions, we end up with three copies of the Sunday Times for the next four years.

So we looked for a sign. There plenty out there, but I was really partial to something that went like this, mainly because I am the sarcastic brat of the family:

I like it. I could have purchased this on Esty here.
Eric thought it might be too harsh and that someone could be offended (but wouldn't that make them want to go away, and isn't that the point?) but sure. Ok. So we got a different sign, one with a cookie exception, because, you know, the addiction, and Eric really likes Girl Scout cookies (and we usually buy the ones I don't particularly like, so I can stay mostly on the 12-step program.)

While Eric was storm chasing last week, this is what  I came home to:

It's wrinkled because I originally balled it up, then realized that this was just too good not to take a photo of.
Even though the photo is a recreation, the solititation was sitting under the "no soliciting"sign. Now, unless I am very much mistaken, this would require the person who approached my door to actually pick up the "no soliciting" sign, place the solicitation notice on the table, then place the "no soliciting" sign on top of it.


Now granted, the kid (Clayton) is fundraising for what he believes is a good cause - earning his Eagle Scout status. I'm not exactly sure what he needs the money for in order to do what ever he has to do to earn Eagle Scout status, but that's what the letter was about. He even left his cell phone number so I could call or text him to purchase the King Sooper's gift cards he is selling.

I was really temped to text and ask him what level of reading comprehension is required to be an Eagle Scout.

Clayton, here is one thing you need to know if you are going to become an Eagle Scout:

Gift Cards do not equal cookies.

We're serious about the cookies. If you don't have them, get off the porch. Yes, I know, I can buy your gift card and take myself to King Sooper and purchase cookies. However, and I can't stress this enough:

Seriously, I'm going to switch to this  sign:


  1. Hilarious. What level of reading comp IS required for Eagle? Is there a badge for that? Good luck getting rid of the creepers on your porch.

    1. Sheesh, who knows? Maybe there SHOULD be a badge... :)