I could stay. In fact, there are plenty who would like me to stay. But its time. Change is hard, but it's needed. I believe I've done all I want to do in this organization, and its time for me to try my hand elsewhere. If I'm most honest, I feel used up and beat up by a relentless pace I've given absolutely everything to try to keep up with.
I'm going to another NGO, this one focused on work with refugees around the world. I'll still be working in safeguarding, working to protect vulnerable people from abuse, neglect and exploitation.
I've had some amazing experiences in this organization. I've travelled to work in 26 (I think?) countries, many multiple times. I've met amazing people, seen things that have broken my heart over and over, laughed until I couldn't breathe, sobbed until I couldn't see, learned, grew and loved.
|Tough family visit along the Thai-Myanmar border|
I wore the same three outfits everywhere I went (did you notice a theme in my wardrobe in my last post?) I've been given incredibly generous gifts by people who insisted on hospitality, some of the most memorable including 18 eggs, a hand woven basket, a bag of groundnuts, and a moment where I thought someone was giving me a pair of goats (and fortunately, I was wrong).
|Shaby and I, Sri Lanka|
I've seen incredible darkness and met people who bring incredible light. The people are the hardest part of leaving - I truly love my colleagues and have the highest respect for them. I struggle with leaving the team I lead - we've built a close and trusting working relationship, and walking away from that feels like I am abandoning the trenches. I fear I'm giving up, stopping away before the work is finished. I feel some guilt.
I am seeking new learning, new opportunities, new challenges. I'm chasing better balance. I'm hoping I can do "it" again. I worry about being an imposter.
Regardless, its going to be a new adventure.