Thursday, February 9, 2017

Be my Valentine, Stinky

As you likely know, I find Valentine's Day to be an overpriced, capitalistic, commercial monstrosity that sets unrealistic expectations about love, sex, and romance, and is a made-up way to guilt people into spending money. So, basically, I'm Debbie Downer for Valentine's.

However, this year, I feel a little justified, as Valentine's may have jumped the shark.

Ok, so here's the setting. I ran into King Soopers this evening. On my way out, I did a double take. Then I walked back ten steps.

Yep, it was exactly what I thought it was.

For $22.99 (!) at the grocery store, you can buy your loved one an Old Spice gift basket. And, because "just" cologne is for suckers, this gift basket comes with:
  • Cologne
  • Body Wash
  • Loofah
  • Deodorant
Apparently, nothing says "I love you" this Valentine's Day than a basket of products that also say "umm, so about your hygiene..."


I mean seriously.

What DO you put in the card?

Got an idea? Leave it in the comments below!